*Oh Hi!
I'm so glad you're looking here. As you probably know this is where a self introductory is and people will say nice stuff about themselves and the blog entries you see on the left.. Well i'm a little uncomfortable with that....it feels like i'm trying to sell myself and entice you to read on and at its best persuasion.... follow them on day by day basis... Nah..i'm way too humble for this.. If you like.... welcome and read on... If you don't...see the "x" at the right hand corner of the window? Click on that!
a little camwhoring when i'm feeling beautiful
“live this moment”
Monday, July 28, 2008 || 4:28 PM
At the beginning of his struggle, the Warrior says: “I have dreams.”
(Manual of the Warrior of Light)
Well, i have dreams too....and soon i'll embark on realizing it....
its a little too late (I've been trying to live up to expectations of the society and my parents for the last 22 yrs...) and now...finally i'm taking the first step for myself....
to give justice to my parents...they were not really very demanding...and they do not set rigid or high expectations for me.... i just have to achieve what is deem fit as "ok"........like getting grades that allows me get a degree..... and.....dun steal..lie (which is hard)....dun be rude.....have manners ...etc...they didnt ask for the moon....cuz they know i wont want to do it....i'll rebel...
they gave me huge freedom......to excel in things that other parents may not like their kids to.....i took part in all kinds of CCAs... gymnastics, skipping, dance, track and field, table tennis....been the "activist" in school...challenging all i thought was inappropriate.... i bet all these created tonnes of worries for my mum and dad....but they chose to keep quiet and hope things dun get out of hand..... good grades were all they asked....and of course...i cant be a "lian" or gangster....
i need not consult them on my choice of degree course....the part time job i'm gonna get..... or even the career that i have now chosen.... i tell them after i've decided.....just like how it has always been for my hoilday trips, my decision to do a course with oklahoma city uni, everything i did...almost 80% is up to myself.....phew....i just realized....
but still.....i'm their kid....i'm living in singapore where everything is best at status quo.. and so....i cant be too crazy in my ideas..my speech....my doings and my dreams.....i have to make sure what i'm doing is still within the "sane" and not the "insane".... i need to make sure my dad's depression dun act up again...and my mum's blood pressure wont shoot up suddenly.... all the considerations bind me...... and so for the last 22 years, with the large amt of freedom....i do things "correctly"....but soon...after i got my degree....i'm gonna embark on my dreams....
"two roads diverged in a woods, and i-
i took the one less traveled by,
and that had made all the difference."
~ ROBERT FORST
i'm not selfish.....but i need to do what my heart has been telling me to....these are not the "wrong" things (morally)...just more exciting..different (by def: you'll raise your eyebrow when i tell you....) inconvenient and insane("you crazy?" you joking?!") stuff................
*i bet my parents know that their gal is not born to live a life like theirs.