“live this moment”

July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 March 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 August 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012

it hurts watching from the glass door.... met him less than 5 times, but i teared...it may be inappropriate...but ..i cant help.
saw this tube in his mouth...his jaws were moving..as if he wanted to say something..or maybe it was simply too tormenting....i dun know how many tubes or wire was inserted into him...its was too much to know...helpless is maybe the feeling we all share, him and us...he's just slowly failing...and there's nothing we can do, nothing at all... i look at eugene next to me, i wipe my tears, i shouldn't be crying...
the scene reminded me about my grandpa...both of them... were they struggling this way before they left....this thinking is haunting me...badly...i shouldn't have went.....but deep down in me... i know....i might regret not going.... for two reasons... i may not see him again...and.... i'm sure he'll be glad to know someone care..
its hurting him alot...alot...i'm praying hard..may god of his belief relief his pain and fear.

* i lost 2 of my beloved...one who brought me up...another one who i get to see only 4 times a year....there isn't a difference in the degree of misery....i miss them, and everytime when i miss them and realised i lost them forever, tears flow....i'll never get to see them...no one is gonna cook the dry spicy maggie mee for me...the way he does...no one is gonna sit on the sofa outside our paloh house when we return....when they go, its forever... i'm missing them.